Gravity Problems
Gravity Problems vs. Actionable Problems
Gravity problems are just like the real thing: unmovable.
They’re the traffic jam on your way to work, the rainstorm on your one day off, or the new regulation that complicates your job.
You can curse them all you want—but gravity doesn’t negotiate.
When we fight gravity problems, all we get is frustration and failure. It’s like being mad that the sun rises in the east.
Acceptance isn’t weakness—it’s intelligence. It’s choosing to adapt instead of arguing with reality.
Actionable problems, on the other hand, are where your power lives.
They’re the situations that respond to your focus, effort, and skill.
Maybe it’s improving your fitness, having a hard conversation, or realigning your actions with your values. These are the moments where you can practice agency—where doing something changes something.
This is the heart of resilience: clarity + action.
As Einstein supposedly said, “Spend 90% of your effort defining the problem and 10% solving it.”
When you can clearly see what you’re dealing with, your next move becomes more apparent.
Reality Check
If, when considering the problem, you're using magical or wishful thinking or find yourself using “should” statements you're probably facing a gravity problem. As in, “I wish we could just…” or “Traffic shouldn’t be this bad” when you’re sitting in a traffic jam.
Where or how can you take action is a conscious, empowering choice. Acceptance of the actual circumstances, whether or not you like them, is a powerful first step.
Three Questions to Regain Control
It is rarely easy to move on from an upsetting circumstance, however, here are three questions that, when asked repeatedly, can help you do so.
Am I the ultimate decision maker in this situation? If yes, make a decision and move on.
Am I willing to engage in this issue to make a positive or real change? If yes, do so. If not, acknowledge that and move on.
If you’re not willing to engage, ask yourself whether your attitude is having a positive or negative impact on your state of mind and those around you.
Nothing positive ever comes from a negative attitude. That's just the facts. Are you being a good role model for yourself or others? Are your thoughts and actions empowering you or are you persisting in a self-defeating battle against a gravity problem.
We can’t control the wind, but we can adjust the sails.
When you accept reality and start taking action on what’s actually within reach, life feels lighter, calmer, and a hell of a lot more productive.
Because agency—the feeling that your actions matter—isn’t just a concept. It’s a biological signal to your survival brain that says: I’m okay. I’ve got this.
—Ben
